Daddy-ology

While we three sisters were being raised by our super home -executive mom, she let papa be in charge of polishing our shoes every day. Even if he would be home late from office which was quite often, he would dedicatedly take out time and polish three pair of shoes.

These days fathers are not just the bread winners of the family. With the financial burden being shared equally by both parents, they are spending more time at home nurturing their kids. While the mothers start feeling the special bond with their babies as soon as they conceive, it takes time for the fathers to develop the emotional connect. Sometimes it takes days or weeks to shed the anxiety and confidently manage the child.

Here’s how the dads can be more involved in the upbringing of their kids right from birth:

**Pre birth & Post birth anxiety**: All mothers would agree that the last few weeks of pregnancy are a little difficult to manage. The to-be fathers can help the mothers to ensure they get their full night sleep. Make them warm milk, massage their feet or just listen to them crib about how uncomfortable it is getting. After the baby is born, there are lots of surprises that come in the way. From the long nights, to numerous diaper changes, odd feeding hours, etc.

How fathers can help in this transition? Read on Dads. Be in charge of night duty. Yes, that means wake up in the middle of night, change the diaper or if the baby is hungry bring the baby to the mother for the night feed. I’ve noticed diaper duty is a great way to bond, talk to the baby, make silly noises, and just make the baby laugh.

**Walk the baby:** Babies love fresh air and its good for you too. Take a walk everyday in the nearby park. Keep the baby close to you throughout you walk. Use a stroller, sling or a baby carrier. Make sure you are carrying the essentials like water, wipes and a baby cap if it is cold outside.

**Have a special daddy time:** Set aside some time at the end of the day to play with your baby. Slowly make this a daily routine. Learn the rhymes and sing along. Talk to them about nature. Read stories to them at bed time. This builds a strong foundation for the child’s future development. See the glint in your child’s eyes when you come home from work.

**Help them respect the rules:** In most of the families, the kid’s routine and rules are set by the mothers. The morning’s routine, play times, naps et al. Fathers can help reinstate the value of these rules by sticking to the schedule if they are in charge. Typically dads tend to spend considerable less time with their kids; therefore there are chances of doing the activities that may seem favourable to the child. For example- Letting the child sleep a little more, have more cake, ice cream in lunch etc. This just portrays that daddy’s rules are lot more fun than mommy’s which not a healthy sign for the future. Help the dads make their own rules for a change.

**Have a gadget free conversation:** I understand fathers have a busy schedule and most of the times are on official calls or checking their emails at home. But set aside these gadgets while talking to your child. Give them the deserved attention.

Mommies, daddies have a different parenting style. They communicate differently, play more adventurously and have diverse discipline rules. We mothers need to respect and trust them.

Sunday, 19th June 2016 is Father’s Day. Before the kids thank their dads in their cute lil ways, mommies take a moment and thank the wonderful daddies for a doing a great job in being the perfect care givers, disciplinarians and sometimes being the escape route from the mothers to our kids.