Stubborness- Navigating Through No

Call your child stubborn or headstrong, but every parent has to go through this phase with their kids from the very beginning of their toddler years. It is definitely a daunting task for parents todeal with such behavior, and getting your children to do things the way you want can be stressfulat times. Children try to assert their freedom and independence by exhibiting such behavior. It isalso possible that they express their stress through such strategies. One should try to discipline astubborn child by listening to and understanding her concerns whilst staying calm and composed.It is also important that as parents you set a good example of acceptable behavior in front of them.According to research, children tend to behave in an obstinate manner as it gives them a sense ofcontrol over the situation, which in turn, boosts their self-esteem. It is also true that they don’treally understand how to express their feelings of stress in a socially acceptable manner. Parentstend to look at stubborness in a negative way whereas attempting to view it in a positive way willmake reasons for the behavior more clear to them. Children like to show that they can think forthemselves and that they can declare their thoughts and beliefs. Knowing this, one should remainpositive as it is a sign of becoming independent at an earlier age. It is important that as parents youmake an effort to understand the root of stubborn behavior in your child. Reasons could vary fromnot liking change to irrational fears. Some children like to carry out the occasional attack ofrebellion but as parents you should remain as calm as possible. If you act out and respond in angerthey take it as a reinforcement that negative behavior works everytime. Parents don’t really havemany disciplining options but when the situation may lead to compromising on the child’s safety,they have to take a stand. Even in such cases it’s not advisable to show anger but to simply statethe reasons and the consequences for disobedience. There is no harm in negotiating with the childif the situation is not dangerous. Sometimes letting go might also be a safe bet as the child wouldstop rebelling when she faces no opposition. You should try to identify the issue that is botheringthe child and involve her in finding a solution for it which will help her feel that you are on herside.

Navigating through “No!” is another issue parents face all the time. All kids learn the word no veryquickly and make sure to hold on to it tightly. For every question asked and request made you getto hear a no as fast as the speed of lightning. It’s quite common for children to behave in such amanner but the spirited kid will have the loudest “no” possible with long and intense tantrums.They feel anxious and insecure when they can’t predict what’s going to happen next. There areways to teach a toddler self-control when it comes to such behavior. Explaining everything to herin a detailed manner is the way to begin, followed by periodic reminders as to what has to be donenext. Even visual cues can help at times like showing photos of relatives who are coming to visit ormaking a scrapbook with pictures for the daily routine. Of course it’s not possible to cut out all thesurprises from your child’s life but giving her a heads-up about these little things will help cutdown on the stress. They need security and consistency with their daily routine. If you let themwatch television one night after dinner, they might force you and demand it every night. Toddlerslong for connection even as they move towards independence, so short activities like playingtogether or cuddling might help keep this connection intact. These strategies might slow you downa little in the beginning but they will help you save time in prevented tantrums. It is very importantto communicate with your child with patience and affection. Even lack of attention from you canbe a cause for stubborn behavior. It’s also important to avoid shouting or arguing in front of thechild as she might get used to it and become more stubborn. Make sure to maintain a peacefulenvironment at home.

You are a role model for your child. She will immitate your actions and try to behave like you, so it’s advisable to behave the way you want your little one to behave. Positive behavior should always be appreciated by you as it will instill a form of reinforcement in the child like praising her when she is well-behaved and cooperative. Children need to know that they can trust you to be there for them which will inturn make them more independent in the future.