We all know the universal truth that it is extremely easy to have an opinion about Mrs. And Mr. X’s parenting style, but parenting is the toughest thing to do. Before we commence on the seemingly uphill task of positive parenting, do pay heed to the following crucial facts:
• Parenting cannot be treated as a competitive sport; do not burden yourself down with unnecessary pressure
• You need to make continued efforts to be affectionate and kind
• Take out some ‘me’ time. You need your downtime
• Be kind to yourself and always be you- no pretensions. Your kid loves you
We all aim at bringing up our children in the perfect way possible. But then, we tend to ignore one fact- are we perfect? No one is, friends. So please let your children be human, allow them to act their age. We all have a ‘bad’, low key day and so do they. They are entitled to bad mood and a few tantrums.
So, let us reflect over what ‘positive parenting’ really is:
1. We cannot demand a certain kind of behaviour from our children. We need to help them understand and exhibit acceptable behaviour. They need to realise it on their own and not be spoon fed. Like Robert Braull said” It is one thing to show your child the way and a harder thing to then stand out of it.” Let them make mistakes and learn from them. These would be lessons for life.
2. Try and understand your child’s responses. If she is in a grumpy mood or being aggressive, do not punish her. Make an effort to figure out the reason behind it. Maybe, she is upset with something that happened at school, maybe she needs you to sit down and have a conversation and so on.
3. Encourage their efforts. Appreciate all good acts. Acknowledge them. If your child could not score well in her math assessment, do not chide her for not studying hard. Instead, sit down with her and try and identify how she can improve her future performance. Extend help.
4. Be the kind of person you want your child to be. Yes, kids observe us 24/7. They imbibe what they see, consciously and unconsciously.
5. Love your children unconditionally. Remember, children need love even more when they do not deserve it.
6. Conflict situations need to be dealt with kindness and empathy. Tell your child you understand how she feels, explain why her behaviour is unacceptable and then suggest the appropriate response.
7. Boost your child’s self esteem. Help them feel confident and proud of themselves. Respect their uniqueness.
8. Always designate time for your kids, they need you. Spend quality time together.
9. Do not feel guilty about being a working parent. Just try and balance your work life and your family. It might be strenuous for you but the happiness on your child’s face will make it totally worth it.
Remember, there is no fun in being a grown up if you cannot be childish, at times.
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